5MoF Proclamation
Noisebridge Proclamation

5ive Minutes of Fame Proclamation

At the peremptory request and desire of a large majority of the citizens of San Francisco, I, Joshua Norton, declare and proclaim myself to be Emperor of this grand new hackerspace called Noisebridge; and in the virtue of authority and obligation thereby vested in me by my sponsors, Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted “Theodore” Logan, do hereby announce that there shall be a celebration on the Seventeenth of September commemorating the one hundred and fifty year mark of my ascension to become the First Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico.

In honor and appreciation of such an occasion, I am allowing and encouraging the event called 5ive Minutes of Fame to gather and share ideas, teach the youth, and encourage propagation of our positive philosophy of excellence to each other. This event shall take place at Noisebridge, on the aforementioned date, at eight o’clock in the evening. As either a direct member or extended family by periphery, you are thus invited to partake in our celebratory ritual.

For those brave and glorious warriors who wish to participate, you must travel to the aforementioned hackerspace, located in the Mission District of San Francisco California. My comrades at Google have created a tool that will ease your journey.

NORTON I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico
27th Aug. 2009.

To find out more about this important occasion, visit the web and physical addresses of the event:
http://5mof.net/faq

Noisebridge Hacker Space
2169 Mission Street @ 18th
San Francisco, CA 94110
Thursday, September 14th, 8 P.M.

Geww lggm, dhp sqfm nyr ypfl fwxts ta “vbamoco”.

Noisebridge Proclamation

BE IT HEREBY RESOLVED
Whereas the environs of San Francisco and these United States have been overrun by bureaucrats, autocrats, democrats and plutocrats, and whereas this great union and the glorious territories of Mexico are inundated with attacks of an ethereal, spiritual, and moral nature, and whereas these premises are to be a great and permanent bulwark against such accostations, be it hereby resolved that from this day forward, NoiseBridge and its members, shepherded by Bill S. Preston, Esquire, Ted “Theodore” Logan, John Waters, and a host of nameless troll-beings and her-wenches of various origin, be forever remembered as the masters of their own fates, and the rulers of these United States and portions of Mexico.

BE IT RESOLVED
That this great nation will be in the fortunate position of realizing triumphant and tumultuous successes at the hands of the guiding muses and genii that push forward the expected exaltation of reality and humanity’s own self serving desires. It is hereby stated that from this point forward in the tribulations of human kind, NoiseBridge shall forever be the forbearer of truth, the standard bearer of justice, and the antipodean scourge of all known enemies of freedom. Thus, it is incumbent upon you, NoiseBridgers who stand now before me, on this great day, September 17, 2009, that you rise up against the horrific horrors in our House of Representatives, and the calamitous cacophony of curmudgeons that make up our Congress.

BE IT HEREBY RESOLVED
That those bodies in opposition to, and representing the opposite belief system there-of, shall forward be dashed to piece on the shoals of NoiseBridge.

BE IT HEREBY RESOLVED
That all laws of nature not withstanding the desires of NoiseBridgers attempting to break, bend, warp or ruin said laws, shall hereby be removed from effect, to be reinstated upon the termination of any NoiseBridger’s activity.

WHEREAS
The laws of thermodynamics, quantum physics, and gravity have not been fully reconciled with one another, it is hereby resolved that those laws not of use to current projects shall be suspended from efficacy and removed from reality, until such time as they are needed again. Be it also hereby resolved that Schrödinger’s cat is dead, Neutrinos are the size of golf balls, and Niels Bohr is the sexiest man who ever lived.

So be it resolved by this great body of NoiseBridge, on this glorious day, September the 17, 2009 150 years to the day from Emperor Norton’s declaration of emperorship, in this city of San Francisco, in these United States, on this Earthen being, in this small spiral arm of the Milky Way galaxy. Proclamation to be absolved upon dissolution of reality, or the arrival of whiskey, whichever comes first.

And so say all of us!

NOISEBRIDGE